Dreams

The world was crumbling. The sky was falling and the ground trembled and quaked. Clouds fell into vapors and her whole universe was enveloped in blue. What used to be the most solid thing in her world was breaking to bits. Eventually even the ground beneath her feet fell in. Instead of feeling weightless like you should when in the air; if felt like she carried the world with her. The kind of weight that as she fell it felt like her chest would cave in and she would be swallowed from the inside.


"Summers for the healing, child. Don't forget it. There's magic in the air that will rival any season. Senses are heightened and possibilities are easier to grasp in summer. Make the most of it. Always..."

"Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose...
Then let's lose ourselves even more"

"Cause you know and so do I. The high road is hard to find"

"I hate you"

"Never look back. Always look forward, and take my hand..."

"Reality is: nothing is for free, sex is too easy to get, along with drugs, and love is too hard to find."

---
The world was showered in gold. It made everything glitter and everything glow with life. It was the summer sun. Beautiful and painful, everything was better in the summer sun.

The girl stood alone on a white sand beach staring, just staring, at the surf. The waves were lazy today. No good for surfing but amazing to look at. She wished she was the kind of artist who could paint. The kind that could mix just that sort of cerulean blue, who could paint the white crested waves as the broke gently against the beach, the kind of artist that could get that shimmering arch of the sun just right with a stroke of a brush. It would be so much easier to make a piece of art that was worth a thousand words than describe the scene in a thousand words.

The girl's silhouette against the horizon seemed quite thin, frail even. Though she was tall and a an athletic build. She used to boast to everyone that all she needed was a beach, the ocean, and the sun, and she would be content. She was really wishing she wouldn't have boasted that.

Maybe if she had seemed a little more fragile, or a little less independent; she could have held onto people longer. People she loved and enjoyed. It used to be that the sea could always make her feel better, no matter the situation or the feelings. It used to..

This time, however, not even the ocean could heal her. She was alone. Alone with her thoughts. It seemed being in all this beauty and peacefulness intensified it all and made it so much worse. All she could see were mistakes, all she could hear were condescending remarks on how she should have lived, she couldn't speak anymore. Her voice was no longer her own. She couldn't feel; not the grit of the sand, not caress of the wind, not the rush of the waves as they pulled under...

She couldn't even appreciate her favorite place. The girl had been on that white sand beach next to that lazy ocean for longer than she could comprehend. Days and summers passed unending. Not that she could feel it, she could only bear witness.

Though most of her thoughts were agony, she could still remember good things, yearn for things, wish... Most of the time those thoughts were worse. Because she would never have them back, or have anything more than memories.

---
She was falling through space again. That felt almost like a dream. No...it was more like a memory of sorts. Time pulled at her-she couldn't tell anymore-was it her body or her soul that was weighted down by the Earth's memories? How could she, one girl, carry the weight of billions of years of remembrance? She would never find another ground to keep her steady and to take the weight from her'; only endlessness. Only oblivion. When she finally accepted the responsibility mankind had hidden from for years the weight was lifted and replaced by something else. A new burden. But this burden was different.

It was warm, and wrapped around her like silken wings . It made her weightless yet grounded at the same time. It was the burden of possibility. And with it, along with endless potential came a responsibility. A responsibility that was lost on, and never fully taken up by most of mankind. Our lack at seizing our capabilities and slacking in paying for our crimes is what destroys us. Forever settling for what we can get. All this the girl learned in a second, in a lifetime--in a moment of infinity.


"Come on. Come back to me. Let's go."

"Ah, insanity. Thy fruit is msuch sweeter than thy cousins reality."

"I love you."

"It's only one. Come on, you only live once. It'll be fun."

"Once upon a time there was a beautiful girl who would stare out her window at the world around her. She wanted to be part of that world. But she was scared. That world was full of monsters... Am I reminding you of someone? Anyway, one day a boy came by and saw the girl staring out the window. He wanted her to come with him, but she was too busy preparing for going outside to actually take the first step...."

---
The sun fell and crashed into the water. While the girl just stared over the lazy waves. It was night now. It hadn't been night in a long, long time... Maybe, she thought, maybe I can sleep now.